


Where To Start

by SilverAmoebasquid



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Early Days, I love using lil theme things like the time in this one, M/M, TeruShira, There's way too much detail put into that, because TERUSHIRA HECK YES, but i wouldn't ask anyone to actually think about the significance of the times, cute second date story!!, it's just me being overly detailed, so much fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-30
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-21 21:18:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11952822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverAmoebasquid/pseuds/SilverAmoebasquid
Summary: It's the second date Kenjirou has been on and he can feel Yuuji already figuring him out. He wants to be the boyfriend he wants Yuuji to have, but he doesn't know where to start.





	Where To Start

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this wonderful song, [Where To Start by Philmont](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnoiQVF9QSU) because TeruShira is cute as heck and I'm ready for death.

5:41:12 pm

 

5:41:56 pm

 

5:42:10 pm

 

Kenjirou looked into the mirror. He’d been standing here for twenty minutes, just staring at himself. He didn’t normally spend this much time in an entire day watching his reflection. He didn’t even know why he cared so much.

The morning had consisted of volleyball practice, during which he struggled mightily to keep his head focused on the game; in between every play, he felt his mind wander. Dismissed for the weekend, he followed the group of students who went home for a few days instead of staying in the dorms. Kenjirou had stood numbly in the shower for far too long, watching the water fly around him. And now he was here, frozen in front of the mirror, not capable of much more than a few controlled breaths at a time.

He had a closet full of nice shirts, but he’d still been stumped on what to put on. By quarter-to six, Kenjirou had only succeeded in throwing on dark jeans and scattering every other piece of clothing he owned across the floor. Black and white were too formal of colors, gray didn’t seem to do his racing heart and spinning mind justice. He wasn’t exactly making a first impression, but he still wanted to wear something appropriate. Yuuji had told him that this wasn’t going to be anything formal. What did that even mean? Kenjirou didn’t know what informal meant in terms of second-date-ever attire. He didn’t know much of anything in terms of dating.

 

5:46:25 pm

 

There was a soft knock on his bedroom door and Kenjirou’s mother stepped in. “Your friend is here, Kenjirou.”

“What is he wearing?”

“Uh, black shorts, white t-shirt, unbuttoned blue button-down.”

“Oh. Thanks.” Kenjirou shooed his mother out of the room. So that’s what informal meant. He tugged a green and black t-shirt on, ran his hands through his hair one more time, and stepped into the hall.

 

5:51:09 pm

 

Kenjirou walked carefully down the stairs, looking at the entryway to the house.

Yuuji was leaning against the wall, his characteristic smirk delicately turning the corners of his mouth upward.

“Hey, sorry to keep you waiting. I’m ready,” Kenjirou said quickly, snatching his wallet and phone off the kitchen table.

“No rush,” Yuuji replied, eyes tracking Kenjirou’s every move.

“I’m good,” Kenjirou assured, more for his own sake than Yuuji’s, blowing past the other teenager to open the front door. “Where are we going?”

“Wine and cheese bar down the road.”

Kenjirou froze. “We’re under-dressed.”

Yuuji’s smug grin turned into a legitimate smile. “I’m kidding. Is the pizza place a half mile away alright with you?”

“Probably still nicer than you’re dressed for, but alright.” Kenjirou stepped onto the front porch, taking in the brilliant colors of the sky as the sun dipped below the row of houses across the street.

“I’m wearing a button-down! It’s fine!”

“You’re wearing shorts. And Vans. Do people even wear Vans anymore?”

“I wear Vans! I skateboarded over here!” Yuuji skipped ahead of Kenjirou, pulling the front door shut and gesturing at his board that he’d left leaning against the front step.

“Why didn’t you bring it inside and leave it in the foyer?”

“I didn’t want to bring my gross board inside your house! It’s always so clean in there!”

“It’s gonna get stolen or something.”

“Nah, it’s fine. I leave it places all the time. But that’s why I’m wearing Vans! That’s gotta count for something!”

“Not sure about that one.”

“Okay, well you’re stuck with me in Vans tonight. I’ll wear something different next time if that would make you feel better.”

“I didn’t say there was anything wrong with your Vans.” Kenjirou looked away and shoved his hands in his pockets.

 

5:58:55 pm

 

“I didn’t realize you were such a shoe aficionado.” Yuuji flat-tired Kenjirou playfully.

“Hey! I’m not a shoe aficionado! And don’t do that!” Kenjirou knelt down to fix his shoe. When he looked back up, Yuuji had stretched out a hand to help him back to his feet.

 

5:59:11 pm

 

Kenjirou was suddenly very aware of the beating of his heart and the buzzing of insects in the summer evening and the way the clouds shifted in the breeze and started turning from cotton-candy pink to royal violet. Yuuji was silhouetted by the fading sun and the day’s last light played over his face.

 

5:59:39 pm

 

Yuuji was still offering down his hand.

Kenjirou glared and stood up without assistance.

“How’s volleyball?” Yuuji asked, starting conversation easily.

“Fine,” Kenjirou answered.

“You had practice this morning, didn’t you.”

“Yes.”

Yuuji grinned and danced ahead of Kenjirou slightly. “Wanna know how I knew that?”

“Not really.”

“Aw, c’mon, Kenjirou! Take a guess. I’m real good.”

“Don’t call me Kenjirou,” Kenjirou mumbled, looking down.

 

6:01:33 pm

 

“Hey,” Yuuji nudged his arm. “Just say ‘I don’t know’ if you don’t want to guess.”

“Alright, how did you know I had practice this morning?” Kenjirou rolled his eyes.

Yuuji looked delighted as he locked eyes with Kenjirou. “You smell like soap and your hair is cold which means it was wet recently so you must’ve showered later in the afternoon. Also, you just put that shirt on. And I know that because...”

Cool fingers brushed along the back of Kenjirou’s neck, making him flinch.

“The tag was sticking out!” Yuuji said, looking victorious. “It’s fixed now, don’t worry.”

Kenjirou ran his hand over the back of his neck, assuring that the tag of his shirt was indeed tucked in and dismissing the tingling feeling that Yuuji’s fingers had sent dancing across his skin. Kenjirou bit his lip. Yuuji was an observant person and that was a problem for Kenjirou. If Yuuji could tell that Kenjirou had just gotten ready and had practice in the morning, he would figure out everything Kenjirou was barely able to hide beneath the surface.

Yuuji suddenly laughed.

“What.” Kenjirou glared.

“I’m kidding. I was talking to your mom. She told me you had practice this morning. Calm down.”

Kenjirou didn’t respond. Maybe Yuuji had gathered that bit of information from an outside source, but it didn’t excuse the fact that he was exactly right about the order of events in Kenjirou’s afternoon and had even been perceptive enough to notice that his shirt tag was sticking out. Kenjirou didn’t like so much attention on him.

“So how’d it go?” Yuuji probed.

“What?”

“Volleyball. This morning.”

“Oh. It was alright. We worked blocks for most of the time so for me it was just a lot of repetitive tossing but I try to make sure each toss is the best I’m capable of so I don’t slack off.”

Yuuji’s eyes widened even more than they naturally were. “That’s so cool!! It doesn’t get boring?”

“No. If I focus on each toss individually, it’s not boring. Also, the repetition is really important so I can toss flawlessly in any situation.”

“You’re such a good captain!” Yuuji exclaimed. “You’re so diligent!”

Kenjirou blushed at the praise. “It’s not really a big deal. I have plenty to think about with the others. Despite the toss, Goshiki, our new ace, never does anything the same twice so I always have to worry about him. And we have a new middle blocker this year so Kawanishi and I are... Um...”

Yuuji blinked. “Yeah?”

“Nothing.” Kenjirou looked away again. His tactic was supposed to be keeping quiet and not revealing much about himself. He wasn’t too sure about this whole relationship thing and he didn’t want to fall into telling Yuuji every aspect of his life. And yet, the way Yuuji spoke to him made him feel like sharing. For a moment, he’d lost track of himself, of where he was, of each second ticking by.

 

6:09:44 pm

 

“We had practice this morning too,” Yuuji supplied, picking up on Kenjirou’s decided silence. “I don’t think we’re quite as regimented as you guys though. We decided we needed to work on serving so we did that for a while and then we played some two-on-two and Bobata and I kicked butt!!” Yuuji shot a fist into the air in remembrance. “We were going to end practice a little early, but then we ended up chasing a ball that bounced outside the gym because there’s this forest thing out back of school and the ball rolled down into a river so we went after it and there was this  _ huge _ bullfrog and Tsuchiyu eventually caught him and we named him Tad, you know like tadpoles. As a joke. Because he was  _ massive _ ! Anyhow, it was super funny because Futamata fell and got his knees all muddy and I laughed at him and ended up totally biffing it in the mud too! Tsucchi dropped the frog and I figured ‘what the heck, I’m already dirty’ so I dove after it and just landed in the water and it was hilarious!”

Kenjirou fought to restrain a smile. Yuuji’s way of speaking was so descriptive. A little disjointed, but full of details. He spent minutes telling quick stories that most people would see as irrelevant. He didn’t mind the embarrassing parts of his tale, shamelessly recalling his own falls instead of glossing over the truth that he was not a great frog-catcher like most people Kenjirou had met before might have. Somehow, Kenjirou didn’t even find the enthusiasm and exaggerated hand gestures Yuuji was making all that obnoxious. Kenjirou figured he could listen to Yuuji tell stories for hours if they were all this good.

 

6:17:18 pm

 

As the local pizza joint came into view, Yuuji babbled about the best kind of toppings and some of the crazy ingredients he’d tried before on pizza.

 

6:20:01 pm

 

Glasses of water were served to them and Kenjirou glanced through the menu. They had personal sized pizzas as well as small sizes to feed two or three people. Kenjirou didn’t want to be the one to suggest either option so he stared blankly at the laminated page until Yuuji nudged his shoulder.

“Do you want to share something or get your own?” Yuuji asked. “What do you usually get on pizza?”

“I like plain cheese or I like something spicy.”

Yuuji’s grin grew wider and he snickered. “You like spicy stuff? That’s awesome. I can’t eat spicy foods for the life of me so that’s admirable!”

“So did you still want to share?”

“Last time I was here, I had their four-cheese and it was  _ incredible _ ! You should totally try it! I’d split a two-person pizza with you if you wanted!”

“You’ve been here before?” Kenjirou asked.

“Couple times!” Yuuji said happily. “You?”

Kenjirou shook his head. “Why? If you live near Johzenji, this place is totally out of the way for you.”

Yuuji shrugged, the smile never leaving his face. “I get out from time to time. There are so many places to explore and this place is really cute!”

 

6:26:56 pm

 

Kenjirou struggled to fill his lungs with air and the world blurred slightly in front of his eyes. They’d been out for a half an hour already and it had felt like five minutes at most. Only Kenjirou’s frequent checking of his watch said differently. Every time he looked down at his wrist, he had been expecting the seconds to tick languidly by, but instead, the minute count had raced ahead at a pace he wasn’t comfortable with. A half an hour and he’d already said more words than he’d been planning on saying the whole night. A half an hour and he was losing control of his carefully constructed personal boundaries. A half an hour and he was having  _ fun _ . It wasn’t supposed to feel like this. He didn’t know how to be in a relationship. He didn’t know how to go on dates. This was only the second one of his life and the first barely counted since it had been so spur of the moment. The bottom line was that he wasn’t supposed to feel comfortable and he wasn’t supposed to relax this easily and he wasn’t supposed to feel so safe around someone he barely knew.

 

6:27:30 pm

 

“Excuse me,” Kenjirou mumbled, heaving himself out of the chair.

“You okay?” Yuuji asked, instantly getting to his feet as well.

Kenjirou nodded, trying to quell the nausea rising within him. “Fine. Be right back.”

The door to the restroom was lit up and clearly marked but Kenjirou struggled to move toward it, stumbling as the edges of his vision tinged black.

 

6:27:51 pm

 

Kenjirou leaned on the edge of the sink, the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach dispersing almost instantly as the door closed behind him. He glanced down and stared at his watch.

 

6:27:58 pm

 

6:27:59 pm

 

6:28:00 pm

 

6:28:01 pm

 

6:28:02 pm

 

6:28:03 pm

 

Kenjirou exhaled slowly. Time was still moving exactly as it should. He looked at his reflection in the mirror. His eyes were wide and his cheeks were tinted red with heat. He looked just as frazzled as he felt. He didn’t have long to get himself under control. He estimated he would have four minutes at most until Yuuji would come check on him. Four minutes to regain his composure and his control over the situation.

 

6:28:17 pm

 

He didn’t understand a lot of the things he was feeling. By all definitions, Yuuji should’ve been a nuisance. He was a nuisance. He teased and sassed and jumped around and talked too much and when they’d gone out for ice cream after practice last week, he’d tried once to hold Kenjirou’s hand. Kenjirou should’ve been mad. He should’ve hated Yuuji. But it was the same bubbly talkative annoyance that kept threatening Kenjirou’s mouth with a smile. 

 

6:28:45 pm

 

Yuuji overshared, filling every empty moment with inconsequential stories from his life that were probably more myth than truth. Kenjirou liked silence and he liked being alone and he liked the world to be still under his feet and around him. Yuuji was anything but still, but Kenjirou found his attention enraptured and it wasn’t a bad thing.

 

6:29:28 pm

 

There were far too many things that Yuuji knew. Kenjirou did his best to keep conversation away from himself when they talked, but Yuuji seemed to understand him on a fundamental basis anyway. Kenjirou always found himself talking about his home life or his school life or his volleyball life whenever he let Yuuji loosen his tongue. And consequently, Yuuji was figuring him out at an intense rate. Yuuji had figured out a few of Kenjirou’s nervous ticks and could predict how he would respond to things with alarming accuracy. It felt like Yuuji had known him years instead of months. And Kenjirou still felt very in-the-dark about Yuuji in a few places. He was pretty good at reading people himself and Yuuji wasn’t one to hide what he was feeling behind a mask, but Kenjirou still felt like Yuuji had him memorized. And that was disconcerting.

 

6:29:57 pm

 

Despite every warning that made Kenjirou wary, he kept finding himself gravitating toward Yuuji. He tried to keep himself hidden from the world because behind the walls and closed doors, he was safe. He was safe from ridicule, from embarrassment, from the outside world trying to break in. The closed doors didn’t seem to pose much of a problem for Yuuji though, and Kenjirou had already found himself laughing once or twice in the other teen’s presence. Yuuji had a way of disarming him and he didn’t even keep it a secret. Kenjirou had found people trying to slither through the cracks in his armor before and he’d become attuned to watch for such people trying to get close to him. Yuuji was breaking down barriers ten at a time and it wasn’t a sneak attack. He just let himself into Kenjirou’s heart like he was coming home. The door was standing open from Yuuji’s entrance and Kenjirou felt his security start to crumble. He couldn’t find a way to close the door.

 

6:30:12

 

Kenjirou was being threatened. He didn’t allow people near him. He didn’t trust anyone with his heart. He’d never given it away before and it was safest that way. There was no reason he shouldn’t have been able to control Yuuji like he did everyone else. There was no reason he should feel like Yuuji was an unknown variable. Reading people and creating formulas was what Kenjirou did. He knew how people worked and he knew how to avoid landing in a spotlight and how to disappear into the crowd and stand out the least. For some reason, the normal methods weren’t working with Yuuji. Kenjirou had established his boundaries like with everyone, but they weren’t even visible to Yuuji.

 

6:30:24

 

Kenjirou had plenty of experience feeling unsafe with people before. At one point he’d been led to think it was okay to share his feelings with others. And that had gotten him teased, ignored, and punched in the face once many years ago. Feelings were not to be shared. Actions were to be seen by the public. Feelings were to be restrained so they could not hurt him. This was an infringement on his personal code of conduct. Kenjirou didn’t share, didn’t laugh, didn’t talk, didn’t  _ love _ . What was happening to him?

 

6:30:43 pm

 

The only thing that didn’t line up was that Kenjirou wasn’t in pain. He should’ve been. Yuuji saw everything going on his head, he was almost sure of it. He wasn’t using any of that information to hurt Kenjirou. He didn’t directly tease him for any of his flaws and he didn’t nose his way into Kenjirou’s life when he stopped speaking. He didn’t force anything out of Kenjirou, but he was knocking down the dams and standing back to watch as the words, smiles, and feelings poured out of Kenjirou. It felt good. All of the normal tension that Kenjirou had learned to live with was fading as the pressure was released. It felt good to be comfortable and he wasn’t feeling the hurt that usually followed opening up. How long would that feeling last, though? Would Yuuji always be a safe place or was he just cleverer than most at breaking through the hairline faults in Kenjirou’s armor?

 

6:30:59 pm

 

Kenjirou didn’t feel the unease that he normally did when he was with Yuuji. He wasn’t getting hurt. He was being loved. Yuuji was genuine and Kenjirou could feel that. He exuded genuine from his body. It was harder  _ not _ to see it. A part of Kenjirou was starting to panic. There was no way. The other half of Kenjirou’s heart was pleading. It ached to trust someone again. Was Kenjirou willing to risk his heart? The higher he got, the further he would have to fall and the more he had, the more he would have to lose.

 

6:31:07 pm

 

Kenjirou was running out of time before Yuuji would inevitably come after him. Was he going to walk back out into the dining room and enjoy a pizza and talk about his life? Was he going to let himself feel?

 

6:31:08

 

Was there even an alternative option?

 

6:31:10 pm

 

Kenjirou pushed the door back open and found himself face to face with Yuuji.

“You okay?” Yuuji asked, looking concerned. “I was just about to come in and see if you were alright.”

Kenjirou’s heart raced. “Can we go back to the table?”

Yuuji nodded and led the way.

Kenjirou plunked back down and leaned his arms on the wooden table.

Yuuji fiddled with his fingers. “Uh, sorry, I ordered for us if that’s okay. I figured it was probably okay, right?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. Thank you.” Kenjirou looked at a napkin, studying the tightly woven paper fibers.

“Um, is there anything I can do for you?” Yuuji asked. He still looked uneasy.

Kenjirou exhaled. “I don’t know. Aren’t you going to try to drown me in comfort or try to hold my hand or make me talk about what I’m thinking?”

Yuuji raised an eyebrow. “That wasn’t my intention. You don’t like touching or talking when you’re not ready.”

Kenjirou looked up at his new boyfriend. Yuuji already knew him perfectly.

“I think I might be ready to talk. I think I might be ready for a lot of things. Not holding hands. But some things.”

“Then I’m listening.”

Kenjirou paused a minute to close his eyes and gather himself. He was interrupted slightly as their small pizza was placed on the table and Yuuji thanked the server.

Yuuji picked up a slice and Kenjirou watched the strings of cheese break as Yuuji pulled it away.

Kenjirou picked up a slice of his own and quickly took a bite. It was good. Really good.

Yuuji was still watching him expectantly.

 

6:34:44 pm

 

“I don’t like people. I don’t like talking to people and I don’t like them knowing what’s going on inside my head. Somehow you’re inside my head anyway and I don’t know how you got there. I already feel like you know me and we’ve only known each other for a few months and we’ve only been on one date so far. That makes me really nervous by default because that’s gotten me hurt in the past. But for whatever reason, I can’t shake you and I don’t really want to. I’m feeling things I’m not used to feeling and it’s all because of you. I don’t know what you’re doing or how you’re doing it but you’re making me want to let go of myself. You make me want to talk and smile and open up and that’s terrifying. But as scared as I am, I still want it. I still want you. I-if you still want this. I want to give up being aloof and I want to be your boyfriend because I trust you. I’ve never had someone watch me so carefully and notice every little thing from what makes me flinch to when the tag from my shirt is sticking out. You know that I don’t want comfort in the form of physical affection and you know that if you give me a bit of time I’ll end up telling you everything just like this. You know it all and I’ve never had to say anything. You know me by heart, don’t you. I want to feel the same. I want to understand you on deeper levels and I’m ready for this to stop being a feeling and to start being a reality. You’re going to have to help me, but I want to open up so you know me by my heart.”

Yuuji was silent for a minute, his eyes flitting over Kenjirou’s expression.

Kenjirou blushed and tried not to show that he was out of breath from the lengthy confession.

Yuuji pushed a glass of water toward him. He’d noticed anyway.

 

6:35:32 pm

 

Kenjirou gratefully took a sip and looked up again to watch Yuuji’s reaction.

Yuuji leaned back in his chair and locked his fingers together behind his head. “Kenjirou, why do you keep looking at your watch every couple minutes?”

Kenjirou resisted the temptation to look down. “To be sure time is still working.”

Yuuji laughed. “You’re a funny kid, you know that?”

Kenjirou blushed. “Shut up. You don’t get it.”

“Well,” Yuuji leaned over the table. “Either you can’t  _ wait _ until it’s time you can get rid of me for the night...”

“No...” Kenjirou looked away.

“Or, there’s something abnormal going on that’s been spinning in that big brain of yours that’s making you so interested in the time.”

Kenjirou rolled his eyes. “See? I don’t even need to talk. You already know what’s going on inside my head.”

Yuuji snickered. “I give up, that’s as far as I can guess.”

“Time... doesn’t always feel right when I’m with you. It moves too fast sometimes and other times each second feels like forever. Every time I look at my watch, it’s never what I’m expecting. Which is why I have to keep looking. Sorry.”

 

6:38:49 pm

 

“That’s kinda... Cute.” Yuuji flashed a sideways smile. “I didn’t know I had the power to control time like that!”

Kenjirou found himself smiling. “Well, you do. You’ve got a lot of special abilities apparently.”

Yuuji looked into Kenjirou’s eyes. “So is this a yes? It’s not a spontaneous post-practice ice cream run and evidently, you’ve done some thinking. So yes? You still want us to be a thing?”

“I do. Apologies in advance for not knowing what I’m doing here.”

“No sweat. I’m patient when it comes to things that really matter to me.”

“Alright. I’m ready then. Just show me where to start.”

 

6:41:12 pm


End file.
